I’m not going to going to challenge you to pull ups or burpees or anything like that with this post.
This is a TMI post for you.
I’m a very private person and I haven’t told anyone outside my family this news.
For me this is the ultimate challenge that I’ll be facing in the next few weeks. Some of you will understand, others will not understand this challenge.
Some of you may have seen my dog on videos or in pictures, especially if you’re a friend on Facebook with me.
My dog was my shadow.
Yes, you read that, he WAS my shadow.
He died suddenly this weekend.
A dog is never old enough, it’s never time to say good by. Desi was the fifth boxer that I’ve said good bye to. Each one had a special place in my heart. I always had two dogs at once, but this was the first time that I only had one, and now I’m left dogless, pretty much devastated at the moment actually.
I always called Desi my ‘suicide prevention’ dog.
I had two sweet female boxers and one morning my older one, the one that was running like a puppy the night before, just up and died suddenly. I was up to take Sadie and her companion Lola for a walk early in the morning, I went to shower and came back to find Sadie expired in the back hall. That was a rough day.
I was sad enough, but when I looked at Lola, so lost and lonely without Sadie, it was too much to bear. Desi was born and Lola and I perked up. We missed Sadie, but having a puppy in the house, so much fun (and work) helped.
Years later, Lola got sick on a Thursday, and up and died in my arms on the following Sunday morning. Both girls blessed me with a quick passing.
This was unlike another female, Jazz who had cancer. I treated her with chemo and all that I could do for her. The treatment bought her some time, but she slowly died over the next six months. I learned that I’d never go to heroic measures to keep a dog alive again. I’ll do all I can to keep them comfortable and loved and let nature take its course.
My first dog, Earl lasted the longest at 9.5 when we chose to have him euthanized because he was in such pain from his back end failing. He had lost all dignity with his inability to walk.
My dogs have been a huge part of my life for the past 25 years. Just like my training, they’ve been a sanity saver. I walked Desi (all my dogs) morning and night and I loved the quiet time outside with them, time to reflect and think. Living in Calgary, the weather wasn’t always conducive for a lovely walk in the park, but we went pretty much hell or high water. Just like I train no matter what. My dogs and I walked no matter what.
And now what? I can’t walk alone.
Desi was my constant companion in the house. He followed me everywhere I went. He’d sit by my computer desk. I’d get up to go to the bathroom and even if I told him, ‘I’ll be right back,’ he’d follow me. He was loyal and loving. Any dog owner will tell you that there’s nothing like the unconditional love from their dog, According to Desi, I could do no wrong. What a relief it was to never disappoint him. Desi saw me through the last two years, which have been the hardest years of my life. He was special because it was really he and I that conquered my world. When all else failed, there was Desi.
The good news is that I’m in the process of moving. I have ten days left in this house, the one that will be so empty when I walk through the front door with no one to greet me. Once I move, it will be a new page.
Today is the worst day. I know that from having lost dogs before. Every day it will get a little easier.
To try to bring a fitness challenge slant to this blog, let me tell you that through training I know I can handle pretty much anything thrown my way. Sometimes I don’t know how I’ll handle things, but I know I’ll just stand up and do it. I’ll fall back on training since it’s a constant companion to me as well. I can always rely on sweat to be my friend when my life is tough. Workouts have kept my sanity in the past and will get me through this too.
I want to thank you, my readers for your support as well. I’m passionate about what I do and that will help me as well. Thank you for indulging me with your time in allowing me to share my story.